How do you know s/he is wasting your time?   7 comments

This is a topic proposed to me by one of my readers (thanks Sandy!!) when I posted a question about this mysterious single text message that says “Hi” and when you respond you get no response in return.  A few of my female friends thought this was hilarious because I said it was like someone calling you and when you say ‘hello’ they say ‘hi’ then don’t utter another word.  It’s maddening to me.  Well another friend (Hi Julie!!!) said that she doesn’t answer text messages from guys who are “courting” her because real men call.  She then went on to say that he was wasting my time.

This is what led to all of this.  How do you know the person that claims to be interested in you is wasting your time?  This sort of begs the question of why would they bother if they weren’t really into you in the first place?  Well let me start with the first question by giving you some background on the reason for my little rant on Facebook.

This guy is/was interested in me.  After completely creeping me out once, one cancellation approximately 30 min. before we were to meet (because he was “sleepy”), one walk out (by me, he left me sitting at a restaurant for over an hour waiting for him with no phone call, no text, no nothing so I ordered something to go and bounced and he showed up afterwards), insulting me to my very core (let’s just say he doesn’t listen very well either and leave it at that) and I still entertain this twat.  Don’t ask me why because at this point I have no earthly or unearthly idea why I do.  Guess it’s just something to do when I get bored.

At any rate, I finally had to tell him that we could be associates and maybe hang out some time but that I wasn’t going to go out of my way to make that happen because after all of that, he was not going to get any further with me than he already had and all things considered, I’ve been patient enough with this guy but he simply SCREAMS he really isn’t interested.  This leads to the second question, as to why would he bother with me if he wasn’t really interested in the first place?

Well let me think on this a moment.

Ok time is up.  In this particular guys case, I don’t think he is/was (and probably still isn’t) used to dealing with a grown woman.  The little games he plays with the single text message and the failure to listen when I tell him something that I don’t like or that I do like and he continues to do it.  I’ve been chatting with this guy for several months (actually probably going on a year) and I can promise you he can’t tell you a single thing about me and what I like and what I don’t like, because he doesn’t listen to all of that.  I, on the other hand, can tell you all the stuff he likes and what he is aspiring to be.  Did I mention that he is thirty (30) years old, he dresses like he is 18 years old (with the doo rag that matches his clothes, baggy pants, Timbs, etc.) and he takes a lot of pictures with that “duck lip” thing.  *shudders* (Sidebar:  I had to tell him the truth about those pictures because he looked suspect in them.  If you know what that means then you’re probably laughing your ass off right now.  Sidebar: over). I think I hurt his feelings, but if I can’t tell you the truth then no one else will and I’m a firm believer on the side of the truth no matter how brutal it is and sometimes you can’t say certain things without them sounding brutal no matter how pretty you try and word it.

The only other reason I could think of was because he just wanted to get in my pants and failing miserably at it.  These things may work with little girls but I can promise you they don’t and will never work on a woman such as myself.  If you so happen to be reading this, try paying attention the finer details, they tend to get you further than the tomfoolery and the fuckery that you’re used to when dealing with little girls.  If you wanted sex, tell me that and let ME decide if I want to bother with that or not.  Don’t play games or waste my time.

I’m looking for something more along the lines of a long term relationship.  No, it doesn’t have to end in a proposal because right now I’m not even remotely interested in remarrying.  It’s more like a friend with possible benefits.  Oddly, I told him this in the beginning and he seemed interested.  What a disaster this has turned out to be.

So Double E World readers, what other signs have you experienced or even put into practice that the person is wasting your time (or you theirs)?

Don’t be shy now, we are all adults here.

Double E

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Posted January 24, 2012 by doublee42 in Relationships

7 responses to “How do you know s/he is wasting your time?

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  1. how do I know? after my ex, i learned that inconsistency in actions shows they are a waste of my time. dishonesty is a waste of my time. basically anyone who isnt there to make the quality of life better for both of us in the long term is a waste of my time.

    • That’s the big thing right there when your words don’t match your actions. They must go hands in hands and if you don’t use words, use your actions because the speak louder any way

  2. WELL FIRST OF ALL I GET ALOT OF THESE TEXTS THAT JUST SAY HI…I SAY HI BACK AND THEY HAVE NO CONVO….A REAL PERSON THATS TRYING TO DATE U WILL NOT WANT TO HOLD A CONVO THROUGH TEXT MESSAGES BUT WILL PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL….NOW I HATE TEXTS ANY WAY CALL ME OLD SCHOOL…I WILL USE THEM WHEN I MAD AND HE WONT ANSWER THE PHONE BUT STILL THAT TAKE TO MUCH TIME…SO STILL IF I DONT LOVE U THAN THAT U WONT GET….I FIND MOST PPL WHO DO THAT TEXTING WHEN THEY TRYING TO DATE U REALLY NOT TRYING….TWO THINGS THEY EITHER HAVE SOMEONE AND CANT TALK ON THE PHONE OR THE OTHER SHY AND DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT SCARED TO TALK…..IN BOTH CASES ITS A WASTE OF TIME…I GET TEXTS TELL ME ABT YOURSELF REALLY DO U THING IM ABT TO RIGHT A BIO IN A TEXT……I HV HAD PPL THAT WILL TEXT U EVERY DAY HOLDING A CONVO BUT NEVER PICK UP THE PHONE…THAN WHEN U ASK THEM TO THEY WILL LATER…I USUALLY RESPOND CONTACT ME WHEN U CAN TALK….THIS IS A OPEN DOOR TO GAME PLAYING REAL TALK AND IF U GROWN STAY OUT THE PLAYGROUND AND THE KIDS WONT WANT TO PLAY WITH U IS MY THEORY…..BELIEVE ME EVERY DAY I GET AT LEAST 50 INBOX MESSAGE TRYING TO HOLLA …..SOME MEN PRAY WHEN THEY THINK U LONELY ITS FUNNY TO ME SOMETIMES I POST STUFF TO LAUGH AT THE THIRSTY…….SO I HOPED THIS HELPED BUT THIS IS COMMON SENSE….

  3. ROTFLMBO @pouty duck lips!!! Anywho, anyone that can’t pick up a phone to talk or have more to say via text than by phone are a wast of time…

  4. A few signs that will tell you,1. If the person can not never call you, and is communicating through text,2. They are only available at certain times al the time,(excluding work) 3. They want t reap the benefits of a relationship, but don’t want the responsibility, and try to keep you in a cool and friend zone. It is a whole ot more to this, and as soon as I see the signs I move on quickly and act like they never existed.

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