Fake versus Real Love: Do you know the difference?   2 comments

On its surface this question may seem as if it’s a simple answer, and for a lot of people it is a very simple answer, but for others they can’t tell the difference between the two until it’s too late and they’ve fallen head over heels for the fake love instead of the real love.  I believe if you know who you are and the person that you are dealing with as well as you know yourself, you will be able to tell the difference between the two relatively easily.  The key is to know who you are and what it is that you want in a significant other.

Fake love often looks exactly like the real thing or does it?  To me, and this is just my humble opinion, fake love doesn’t look a single thing like real love, that’s why it is fake.  If you pay attention to it you will see it for what it really is and that all of its intricacies are nothing but a thin veil of lies.  Fake love only gives you what it thinks you want and tells you what it thinks you want to hear in order to get something out of you; whether it’s sex or money they are giving you they believe you want in order to get what they want.  It’s a give and take type thing but for all the wrong reasons.  If I have to give you something in order to get something in return then that really isn’t love to me.  If I have to beg you to do things with me or for me it’s fake love, because love doesn’t beg.

Having lived through fake love and not recognizing it for a very long time (that 16 yr. self induced coma) I have had the opportunity to look back and see that from the very beginning it wasn’t as real as I thought it was.  I found out later on that every single thing he had ever given me he made mental notes of it and noted if I didn’t “return” the favor as he thought I should be returning it.  I, on the other hand, thought I was because it was little things.  An example would be for his birthday, I didn’t throw him elaborate surprise parties for a few reasons (1) I couldn’t get near his phone to contact his friends to get them in on the party (red flag, I know); (2) I had no clue that he liked that because he never told me; and (3) because I don’t like surprises.  I thought that by giving either treating him to his favorite restaurant or cooking his favorite meal or giving him something that he had “dropped a hint” about wanting was what he wanted. 

To me that is fake love.  Keeping up with every single thing you ever give the person you are allegedly in love with isn’t love either.  Love gives from the heart what it can give.  If I can’t afford to give you a $400 softball bat then I’m not going to give you the bat and I clearly can’t give you the money, yet that is what he expected.  He brought up something else I found interesting because I actually had to take several days to think about it before I could even respond to his accusation and that was not because I was “old” it was because I didn’t think about things like that.  He accused me of never having bought him anything.  I had to go back damn, 17 yrs. before I could come up with ALL the stuff I’d bought him.  I gave myself a damn headache with that one.  Only giving the person something because they gave you something first, isn’t love either. 

Real love, on the other hand is completely opposite of the fake.  Real love is doing things for one another from the heart and not from the wallet.  It’s not keeping tabs on things given and it’s definitely not about being selfish.  It’s about acceptance of a person, flaws and all, and being able to love the person in spite of these flaws.  It’s not to say that you are settling with someone who has a boatload of flaws because you shouldn’t, but no one is perfect so you shouldn’t expect perfection from another.  Love has many faces but the face it wears depends on what you want.  Their actions will match their words in every way. 

Knowing who you are and what you want will help you recognize the difference between real and fake.

Do you know who you are so you can tell the difference?


Double E



Posted February 8, 2012 by doublee42 in Relationships

2 responses to “Fake versus Real Love: Do you know the difference?

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  1. I know all of us women have been there. We have such a lack of self esteem in our younger years. It’s a shame. I know it’s love though cause as much as I’d like to, I refrain from killing him in his sleep when he snores. lol

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