What People Need to Know about the Courts when it comes to Child Support and Custody: Especially my men!!!   14 comments

****DISCLAIMER****

I am NOT an attorney. I just work for them. Any information given in this blog can be found on the internet.  The information contained in this blog is general in nature and may not necessarily be the law in your state.  The information contained herein should not nor should it ever take the place of that of attorney licensed to practice law in your state.  I encourage you to seek the advice of an attorney if you have further questions or concerns.

Now that the formalities are out the way, let’s get down to the real business.  Yesterday I talked about how a woman spends child support is not the business of the father unless the child isn’t being taken care of.  This apparently is a really sore spot for a lot of the gentlemen and even some of the ladies.  There are some trifling ass people in this world on both sides of this and since the most complaints came from the gentlemen about how the court system is designed to “empower the woman” I decided that since I work in the legal field (again not an attorney) that I would give you all some information that you may or may not know.

Let me start by saying that the court system is not your enemy if you know how to work it.  The key is knowledge.  Don’t listen to these “armchair attorneys” (men/women who have been through “it” before, etc.) and for the love of Pete, don’t listen to anyone at the courts either because they aren’t equipped to give you sound legal advice; and by law they aren’t supposed to (this is meant for the clerks in the court, secretaries, etc.).  Hell from what I’ve seen a lot of court appointed attorneys don’t give advice worth a shit either because their case load is too heavy and they just want you to plead out or take the “easy” route instead.  Don’t do it guys.  This is how you end up being railroaded into serving time for shit you didn’t do, serving more time than you should for shit you did do and being ran the hell over by a Mack truck, a train, a boat and a car when it comes to having to pay child support to some trifling girl you slept with and didn’t protect yourself.

Keeping in mind that a lot of people feel that the courts were designed to give women all the power and that isn’t necessarily true.  Let’s put it like this, men designed the court system and in our society, in all societies, it is believed that women should take care of the children this is why more often than not, they get custody of the kids and it takes damn near an act of congress in order for her to lose it.  Being a crack head whore isn’t enough either these days.  While is hard for a man to get custody of his children it isn’t impossible.  He just needs to know what to do.

If you don’t do anything else, if you have any reason to believe that the child in question is not yours then the moment she takes you to court for child support, request a paternity test.  In this day and age, even if you firmly believe that the child is yours, ask for it anyway.  She might get pissed the hell off but it will definitely save you from having to pay child support on a child that isn’t yours.  Also, for the record, don’t ever waive your right to have a paternity test.  If it is determined that the child isn’t yours then you need not go any further.  If, on the other hand, it is determined that the child is yours the next thing I’m going to tell you is going to be crucial.

Some of you seem to think that you can’t get joint custody of your child if you aren’t married.  That is so false it’s ridiculous.  You have just as much right to your child as she does.  Too many times men just give over full custody to these women then whine about how much child support they have to pay and they don’t ever get to see their child.  Well guess what?  You may have visitation if she went through the court system but if you aren’t going to press the issue then why bother with the visitation?  Seeking joint custody along with the visitation gives you the power to tell her to kiss your ass when she tries to hold the children hostage because you aren’t paying child support.  That is a definite no-go.  That piece of paper signed by a judge gives you just as much rights to see your children whether you are paying or not.  Joint custody with one parent having physical custody is in your best interest if you want to be a part of your child’s life (and you should want to be).  THIS should be your number one priority when you get slapped with a child support suit.

Now let’s talk about how child support is calculated.  I’m going use Virginia since this is where I live.  Some states do it differently but for the most part it’s pretty much done the same way across the board.  Your individual state should have a website that will help you calculate how much you should be paying.  Here in Virginia a formula is used to calculate how much the custodial parent gets (the one that has physical custody of the child).  This is based on your verifiable income and her verifiable income.  If she has no income but has the potential get be gainfully employed, Virginia will take that into consideration as well.  So if she wants to work that minimum wage job that’s her business but it will be counted as income for her and if she is on all kinds of public assistance, guess what?  You’ll be paying the state back and she won’t see a dime of your money (so you know exactly where it’s going to go).  The online form for Virginia can be found on Virginia Department of Social Services (DSS) website at Virginia Department of Social Services .

Coincidentally, I found out that something very interesting for those who want to quit their jobs in order to get their child support reduced (and maybe even increased) the following:

Any career change, any investment, is by nature a voluntary act. We do not perceive the law defining obligations of child support to be intended to frustrate ambition or enterprise. Therefore, we construe the term “voluntary act” to describe a willful act done for the purpose of frustrating the feasibility or enforceability of the support obligation. Thus, an applicant who shows a reduced ability to satisfy his obligation, which is not due to his wrongdoing, his neglect of his affairs, or his intentional diminution of his financial capacity other than in connection with a bona fide and reasonable business undertaking, is entitled to have that reduction considered along with the other usual factors, including his general earning capability, in determining his child support obligation.*

*Source:  Family Law Blog

How I found this information out was quite by accident because my DEH tried to say because he lost a certain portion of his income (a bonus that was given to him monthly because of his particular job) that the court should take into account that he would no longer be receiving it.  My attorney dropped this bit of knowledge on him the judge basically told him too bad so sad.  He didn’t get the amount reduced.  So don’t think that if you quit your job, voluntarily get a lower paying job, etc. that Virginia courts are going to take pity on you because they won’t they just don’t want to have to pay to raise your child so they are going to make you keep your “good paying job” and as a matter of principle you should want to anyway this is, after all, your child’s wellbeing we are talking about.

Now I know I’ve not shared a whole lot of information but I’ve given you all just enough to be dangerous.  Google is your friend and you can find out this stuff on your own if you just look for it.  Child support issues tend to be a highly emotionally charged time for everyone.  People are bitter, angry and hurt about the whole situation and no one is thinking with a clear head when they get hit with the papers.  Clearing your head and thinking of the big picture will help you in the end.  Just keep your wits about you.

Now I’m about to give you some “motherly” advice as only Double E knows how, straight from the hip and not pulling any punches:

  1.  If you aren’t ready to have children then don’t.  It’s just that simple.  Protect yourself at all costs.  Use condoms every single time you have sex and buy your own and use your own condoms and dispose of them yourself.  This doesn’t mean throw them away in HER bathroom, take that shit and wrap it up in a paper towel and take it with you and dispose of.  Extreme and doing too much you say?  HA!  Check out this article and then get back to me on how “extreme and doing too much” it is. (Trifling woman).  It’s not even a joke folks. Trifling ass women do this shit daily!
  2. Be mindful of who you are sleeping with.  This goes for both men and women.  If you know this man has several kids by several different women and you know he isn’t taking care of them then what in the world makes you think that he is going to take care of you and yours?  You don’t have the magic poo-nanny that will make him do better and your name isn’t Ms. Sunshine.  The same thing for you gentlemen.  If she has what they called “the disease” back in my day (all kinds of kids with all kinds of men, more than likely doesn’t even know who their fathers are and keeps on having them just to get a check) then your “jimmy” isn’t going to change that and what you need to do is take my advice from #1 or just avoid her ass all together (i.e., run like hell in the opposite direction and FAST).
  3. If you do have children, don’t keep having them and not taking care of them.  That child or those children did not ask to be here and they are your responsibility not the states responsibility.  If you know damn well you aren’t taking care of yourself worth a shit then bringing another person into this world that you won’t take care of isn’t helping them or you.  Get your shit together before you bring someone else into it and ruin their life.

Double E

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Posted February 10, 2012 by doublee42 in Things I see

14 responses to “What People Need to Know about the Courts when it comes to Child Support and Custody: Especially my men!!!

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  1. this is all fine and dandy information if you arnt married to them if you can afford an attorney and the other person isnt filing dirty paperwork against you playing the victim. she spent years spending every dollar I could make plus what ever she could twist into credit with or without my knowledge, just before she left, leaving me in considerable debt, she sabotaged my job before she left limiting my income and the filing of the OFP was made public to the potential customers in my area through the local paper.
    the town she moved to was 3 hours travel from where we lived, the town was isolated enough so that it had 2 attorney companies in it. one worked with the court system and the other was the independent. by filing two different cases against me after moving into that town, she tied up both law offices and kept them tied up throughout the divorce so neither could represent me due to a conflict of interest. she lied and obtained a restraining order against me which brought in a courts investigator for child services who interviewed her and since I was 3 hrs away and she had the OFP in hand, the investigator met with me once on the phone, for 5 minutes….(mind already made up from her stories).
    because of what she built against me legally, and I made a very limited income and most of it was tied up in my house…. (btw she spent 5 years trashing my credit so i couldnt get a loan if i tried) the courts can only assign LOCAL attorneys to represent free clients, I couldnt afford to hire an attorney to represent me on the divorce, and the ones that may have taken it pro bono looked at what she filed against me and said she is too well informed and I will lose the divorce if i cant get rid of the other filings first which would cost not only legal fees but travel as well, there was no way to get a loan, I couldnt afford legal fees, I couldnt win the divorce without being able to afford an attorney and her poisonous words were in the ears of those who had the judges ear. whats left? transfer jurisdiction? cant, she dragged everything out for 3 months laying it just so and 3 months in a community is the minimum time of occupancy for residency solidification.

    so tell me, I was married to her for 10 years, she cheated on me, she left me, she planned everything out long before I was even aware of her intent, she left me for someone with empty credit cards and good credit along with a large bank account, she filed everything she needed to too be able to keep the children from me, she intentionally split her legal attack to tie up the only legal services to increase difficulty in the divorce for me and with no contact with my children, poisoned their minds against me…… oh, did i mention that she got the house i built with my own 2 hands, free and clear of debt… she was awarded to sell to split proceeds. according to the attorneys i contacted once it leaves her name I am entitled to half its value, as long as she has it CONTRACT FOR DEED its still half in her name and I have no claim over it and it meets the conditions of the divorce decree………. screwed again.

    and people wonder why I am so angry.

    so tell me, how is the system, as it is set up fair and impartial? tell me how it is my fault she got everything important…. that would be the children… fuck the property… i can get more of that…. she cheated, she left me, she lied, she played the victim and she got the children, so dont go tellin me how things are equal in the court systems and that the women dont have a MAJOR advantage.

    • Damn man. Your situation was unique but not unheard of. The problem I saw was that you got blind sided by her all the way around. Now I’m going to ask you something that might piss you off…but did you know her before you married her? You couldn’t have possibly been that unaware of what was going on unless you were completely oblivious? Even if you were, I’m going to have to tell you like my sister told me, you picked her. Having said that, you needed an attorney and since you couldn’t afford one you got bent over and royally screwed without the lube by this woman…thereby making my point about trifling bitches. Sorry this happened to you but I don’t even know what to say.

  2. no, i didnt know her before i married her, I only knew the front she put forth for the first year. i was 25 and settled……… NEVER SETTLE PEOPLE….. NEVER!!!!!!!

    • and I question if I was the one who picked her of if she picked me and i was just a pawn…….. look at her manipulation throughout all this…. just makes me wonder…

  3. That is why I talked about representatives in my other blog. You have to know the people you are getting involved with and even after a solid year if you had ANY doubts you should have kept it moving honey. So you settled but that’s where you made your mistake. I’m sorry it happened to you though you’re a cool person (what I know of you). I’m glad this didn’t make you bitter and turned completely off

  4. LMAO you picked one another. You know better than that, SHE was not the only one in the relationship…both of you had to have agreed on it not just her.

  5. who says im not bitter…. read my responses concerning her LMAO… i know, i know…… in general, and yes, i entered into the relationship with who she portrayed herself as, I set myself up for all this, but I also know a VERY large group of men who have had similar things done to them (met them all since the divorce) and the only thing i ever hear from women is how they dont get the money they are ENTITLED to because they have his kids. no details on if he is the deadbeat or if she is the bitch. rarely are all the details made available if its her… but i have seen, in person, many divorce cases where it was her fighting dirty and using th echildren as leverage for money…… i still say…. GIVE ME THE KIDS, KEEP YOUR MONEY AND POISONOUs WAYS

    • You are angry and have every right to be because being fucked with no lube hurts. Having said that, bitter is different. You aren’t bitter because you are remarried to a wonderful woman and you learned from your past and haven’t taken it into this relationship.

      • so what your saying is that me offering to help others with an outlet for their anger/rage by telling them my ex wife, living at 123 im a whore lane, bitchville Minnesota, working at whores r us and offering a hand drawn map to her current location, my condolences and a shotgun isnt bitter? its just anger? kool 😀

  6. LMAO really Drue? A bit extreme yes, bitter no. Angry as hell, yes.

  7. Pingback: What People Need to Know about the Courts when it comes to Child Support and Custody: Especially my men!!! | doubleeworld

  8. Andre I’m glad you have a (for lack of better words) “healthy” outlet after all that’s happened to you. Do you at least get visitation rights to see the kids?

  9. I been trying to tell dudes this shit for years.

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